The Undiscussed

Disclaimer: The following story is based on true events. However, in order to protect the privacy and identities of the individuals involved, certain names and identifying details have been altered. The intent is to maintain the authenticity of the narrative while safeguarding the privacy and anonymity of those whose stories are being shared. Introduction Samarth Singh, a dedicated Class IV government servant, was on the verge of retiring after a lifetime of hard work. His efforts had allowed him to secure a home for himself and accumulate savings. While his retirement income would provide an additional financial boost to his current situation, it also made him a focal point of attention among his relatives who shared similar or even more challenging financial circumstances. Samarth Singh is the father of two sons, and this is the story of Gurjeet Singh, his elder son. Gurjeet Singh, a +2 passed, has devoted his life to serving the Gurudwaras and spends his time with the kirtan mandali at the Gurudwara Sahib. While Samarth Singh accepts and supports Gurjeet’s chosen path, he also carries concerns. He contemplates the future, considering who will provide for and look after Gurjeet when he is no longer present. Additionally, Gurjeet Singh has reached the age of marriageability, prompting the thought that it might be time for him to settle down. An offer you can’t refuse Behind every deception, there often lies an offer that seems irresistible. However, in the case of Samarth Singh, this offer held an unusual reliability as it originated from within the family circle. Rajdeep Kaur happened to be the daughter of Samarth Singh’s cousin brother, establishing a longstanding connection between the families. The roots of their relationship stretched back to their very births. Rajdeep Kaur, driven by aspirations to relocate to Canada, was concurrently employed in an Immigration Office, resolutely pursuing her dreams. Rajdeep Kaur’s confidence in her aspirations was palpable; she had successfully passed the IELTS exam and was merely a step away from applying for a student passport. Yet, this step necessitated a thorough financial background check to assess the applicant’s capacity to bear the associated expenses—an aspect she found herself lacking in. Turning to Samarth Singh’s family, Rajdeep Kaur’s kin were well aware that Samarth Singh’s impending retirement would usher in a significant financial boost. Seizing this opportunity, they approached Samarth Singh and proposed the idea of Rajdeep Kaur’s marriage to Sajan Singh, fully cognizant of the potential financial support this alliance could bring. Too good to believe The proposition seemed almost too good to be true, especially given the stark contrast in attitude and confidence between Rajdeep Kaur and Gurjeet Singh. Rajdeep Kaur exuded ambition and a directness that stood in stark juxtaposition to Gurjeet’s selfless, pure-hearted devotion to God and the Gurus. Remarkably, this divergence didn’t perturb Rajdeep Kaur. She not only accepted the proposition but also found contentment in it, even as she embarked on a journey of getting to know Gurjeet Singh over a span of more than two years. This chapter of their lives culminated in their eventual union through marriage. This deliberate span of two years was designed to ascertain the couple’s compatibility and happiness within the relationship. Remarkably, over this extended engagement period, which surpassed two years, no issues of concern arose. During this time, they embraced shared experiences, celebrating birthdays in unison, partaking in pre-wedding photoshoots, and Rajdeep Kaur openly sharing moments from their journey on various social media platforms. Observing this evident happiness, Samarth Singh wholeheartedly embraced the opportunity to support Rajdeep Kaur in her aspirations of relocating to Canada. Without any hesitation, he extended financial assistance, transferring a substantial sum of 7.5 lakh Rupees to her bank account, along with an additional 2.5 lakh Rupees in cash. To facilitate this generous gesture, Samarth Singh reached out to friends and relatives, borrowing the funds necessary to ensure his daughter-in-law and son could embark on their journey to Canada and establish a fulfilling life there. What followed? Rajdeep Kaur deliberately prevented the consummation of the marriage, offering a series of excuses to avoid it. After a mere 17 days of being married, she departed from her marital residence, citing the demands of her job and the need to stay at her maternal home. Her conduct didn’t raise any immediate suspicions. She treated everyone in the family with courtesy, maintaining a positive demeanor. Even after leaving her marital home, she continued to engage with all family members in a congenial manner, gaining their trust. Samarth Singh, driven by his trust in her, proceeded to transfer a substantial amount of Rs. 3,50,000/- to her bank account approximately three months after she had left. This was based on his belief that she was actively working towards seizing the opportunity to apply for a visa. Now enough money was given to Rajdeep Charmed by her eloquence and demeanor, Rajdeep managed to secure a significant sum of Rs. 10,00,000/- from Samarth Singh. However, he began to grow concerned due to the absence of tangible efforts or outcomes on Rajdeep’s part. Balancing the financial needs of his two sons, including the necessity to settle his younger son, Samarth Singh opted to discontinue any further monetary assistance. Subsequently, Rajdeep’s interactions with the family came to a halt. She ceased attending phone calls and refrained from responding to WhatsApp messages, marking a notable shift in her behavior. Gurjeet goes to Rajdeep Witnessing this abrupt transformation in Rajdeep’s behavior, Gurjeet embarked on a journey to her maternal home. However, instead of a warm reunion, he was met with disdainful words from Rajdeep, who disparaged him as an uneducated and idle individual. She declined his company, citing her embarrassment to be associated with him. The aftermath of this encounter led to social judgment directed at Gurjeet for not being actively employed and dedicating a significant portion of his time to the Gurudwara. Despite the negative spotlight, Gurjeet’s inherently altruistic nature prevailed. He harnessed these adverse circumstances as a catalyst for positive change, choosing

Disclaimer: The following story is based on true events. However, in order to protect the privacy and identities of the individuals involved, certain names and identifying details have been altered. The intent is to maintain the authenticity of the narrative while safeguarding the privacy and anonymity of those whose stories are being shared. On a beautiful day, I found myself in the company of a few good housewives, engaging in a discussion about the pivotal role that a homemaker plays in one’s life. The conversation was rich with intriguing perspectives and insightful responses. As per their viewpoints, homemakers assume a pivotal role in society by making significant contributions to the stability and operation of households and families. But despite their significance, their contributions often go unnoticed, because they are basically engaged in unpaid labour. As per their discussions among them, majority of the homemakers are responsible for these: To gauge their reactions, I ventured, “However, couldn’t all these tasks be managed by a full-time domestic helper for a monthly wage of around 15k? How is that a good value?” With just that comment, I found myself positioned as the antagonist within the dynamics of the group. “Oh, so you don’t appreciate the effort that goes into running a household? Just because a woman doesn’t earn a salary, her contributions hold no worth? Is that how you saw your own mother – as nothing more than a domestic worker?” These were some of the retorts I heard from them in response. I transitioned from offering straightforward responses to posing a counter-question. I inquired, “Is the appreciation you express for homemakers reflective of your own status of homemaker or does it hold any truth?” Answer was “Indeed, the value of a homemaker is equally substantial compared to that of their husbands who dedicate only half their day to the office and savor weekends off.” I posed another question, asking, “Would you be open to marrying your educated and skilled daughter to someone who is proficient solely in homemaking?” The room was engulfed in a profound silence as my question hung in the air. Another situation that remains unresolved revolves around a case titled “Suman vs. Mahesh” (names altered for confidentiality reasons) – a legal battle that I’m advocating for from the husband’s perspective. Above was a gossip, but this is a true story: Suman and Mahesh crossed paths within a circle of friends, their affinity for one another gradually deepening over time, led them to tie the knot in 2009. However, the narrative takes a different turn in 2023, as Suman initiates a legal proceeding by filing for divorce. This pivotal step marks the current juncture in their journey. But this is not the first time Suman applied for a decree of divorce. Following the birth of their children, Suman’s ability to remain at home was limited to her maternal leave duration. Given her employment within the disciplined defense sector, known for its stringent rules, this constraint proved challenging. Suman’s profound love for her children led her to opt against entrusting their care to domestic help, valuing the unique care only parents could provide. While Suman enjoyed a government position, Mahesh pursued a career in Hotel Management, a private job with comparable remuneration. In light of their circumstances, Suman and Mahesh collectively made a decision. They arrived at an arrangement. Mahesh assumed the role of caregiver for the children, managing the household, while Suman continued her job, contributing financially to the family’s well-being. Mahesh embraced his role as a HOMEMAKER, against the wishes and opinions of his parents, relatives and friends, trusting wholeheartedly in the commitment to relationship with Suman. Mahesh beginned shouldering the responsibilities of managing the household and caring for their children. Fast forward to 2017 As their children grew, they began attending school and engaging in private tuition after classes. This phase saw Mahesh, who had been content in his role as a homemaker, face a shift in perception from Suman. She became increasingly uneasy about Mahesh’s stay-at-home status, expressing concerns over how others might perceive it. The scrutiny of society’s questions like, “What does your husband do?” or “Did you marry a man with no occupation?” weighed heavily on her mind. Motivated by this, Mahesh embarked on a quest for new employment opportunities. However, he encountered a formidable obstacle in the form of a significant gap in his work history. Anyone familiar with private sector interviews knows that the first query centers on explaining such gaps, and responses like “managing the household” often fail to suffice. As a result, Mahesh struggled to secure a job that matched his previous earning capacity. Meanwhile, Suman’s career flourished with salary increases, promotions, and various achievements. Given her unwavering professional focus and the responsibilities she entrusted to Mahesh at home, her trajectory in the job sphere remained impressive. Although Mahesh diligently pursued work, he found himself entering a drastically transformed industry. His commitment to his job remained unwavering, yet the world proved to be an immense competitive arena. Consequently, reestablishing himself and sustaining a foothold, let alone progressing, became a monumental challenge. What followed in 2018 Mahesh’s diminished income and status began to cast a shadow of shame over Suman. This eventually led to a conversation about divorce between the two. While Mahesh was not inclined towards ending their marriage, Suman had reached a resolute conclusion – she could no longer coexist with Mahesh due to the societal stigma she felt he had become. The prospect of a mutual divorce was unattainable, given Mahesh’s unwillingness to grant consent. What transpired next mirrors a scenario encountered by most men in India today. An FIR was filed under sections 406 and 498A of the IPC (Indian Penal Code), accompanied by a divorce petition. Shockingly, allegations were leveled against a man, who earned less than one-third of his wife’s salary, accusing him of physically assaulting his spouse to extract additional dowry. If these allegations appear logical to anyone, I’m left baffled about their reasoning.

Disclaimer The primary intent of this blog is to disclose and discuss the situation at hand, without targeting or discussing specific individuals. It is important to note that the Court holds the final authority to decide the case, and our purpose is not to encroach upon or influence that authority in any way. We want to emphasize that our intentions are not to cause harm or insult to anyone involved in this situation. Our sole objective is to shed light on the matter and ensure that this situation is brought to the forefront, enabling you to gain a better understanding of WHY MEN LOSE. I would like to share one of the cases I am currently handling, where I am representing the Respondent (husband). The Petitioner (wife) has filed a case for maintenance. To protect the privacy of the individuals involved, I will not be disclosing their real names, places, or identities. The main purpose of this blog is to present the situation at hand for consideration, focusing solely on the circumstances rather than specific individuals. With that being said, let’s delve into the details of the situation. Introduction As most of us are aware, the Hon’ble Supreme Court’s landmark judgment in the case of “Rajnesh vs. Neha” established the requirement for both parties involved in a maintenance case to file their affidavits disclosing their income and assets. This mandate ensures transparency in such proceedings. The present case involves a situation where the wife intentionally concealed her information from the aforementioned affidavit, causing a significant hurdle for the husband in contesting case without the necessary details. This has resulted in a challenging and arduous journey for the husband in his pursuit of obtaining the required information. It is often unpredictable how a fight against an individual can escalate into a battle against the entire system, where even a victory in the end may yield fewer benefits than a defeat. What happened? In the present case, it is important to note that both the husband and wife were employed. However, when the wife initially filed a petition for maintenance against her husband, she deliberately concealed the fact of her own income. Subsequently, during the process of filing her affidavit, she admitted to being employed and provided details regarding her work and salary. However, it is worth mentioning that she continued to evade the submission of her bank statements, Income Tax Returns, and various other crucial details. This behavior raised suspicions that she intended to conceal her actual income, as her employment involved a sales job where incentives or commissions from sales were not included in her regular salary. Legal remedy To address such situations, the procedure was outlined in the judgment titled “Rajnesh vs. Neha” itself, which clearly states the following: If there is any dispute with respect to the declaration made in the Affidavit of Disclosure, the aggrieved party may seek permission of the Court to serve interrogatories, and seek production of relevant documents from the opposite party under Order XI of the CPC Consequently, an application requesting the production of documents was filed before the relevant court, seeking bank account statements, Income Tax Returns, and other pertinent details. What followed Instead of complying with the legal requirement and submitting the requested documents as per the application, the wife decided to contest it by resorting to utterly false statements. As an example, the following is an excerpt from the wife’s reply: Both of the aforementioned statements made by the wife are false, prompting the husband to file a rejoinder in response. The rejoinder highlights the following key points: Regrettably, the Court disregarded the statements presented in the rejoinder and issued the subsequent order and observation: The Court did not explicitly request or direct the wife to provide her SBI bank account details or issue a statement denying the existence of such an account, as highlighted in the rejoinder. Moreover, it is important to note that the Court also observed that the wife had indeed submitted her Income Tax Return for the year 2022-23 as part of the proceedings. And contrary to the wife’s acceptance of her employment, the Court proceeded to hold that she was indeed unemployed. However, it is crucial to note that the wife’s own affidavit explicitly states the following: Could be our fault? Both the husband and I began to assume that the wife may have indeed filed the necessary documents, and perhaps we were not provided with copies by the opposing counsel. Our assumption was based on the fact that not only did the wife explicitly state the filing of those documents in her reply, but the Court itself acknowledged the same in its order. Upon conducting a file inspection, we discovered that there was nothing on record as well. This revelation came as a shock to us, prompting us to apply for certified copies of the Income Tax Returns filed by the wife. Here is the report provided by the copying branch of the Court itself: The copying branch was so appalled by the situation that they felt compelled to explicitly mention the name of the husband’s lawyer, confirming that the records mentioned in the Court order were not available in the file. What is the remedy now? From a legal perspective, the available recourse now is to file a revision before the Hon’ble High Court. The details that the wife should have been legally obliged to provide, which is the responsibility of the Family Court itself to ensure, came down to husband having to file a specific application for this purpose. Unfortunately, even after taking such measures, the husband’s efforts were not successful. These situations often result in a permanent sense of defeat Regardless of the consequences that one’s struggle may bring, against such situations. it is disheartening to realize that it ultimately results in a defeat from various perspectives. Here are a few reasons that contribute to considering it a defeat: (Note: the points mentioned below do not particularly relate to this

Do we need to understand this? A couple made in heaven is joined by marriage. This was the majority’s answer I got when I asked a few people if they know what is marriage. But can you tell this to a Court in response to a Court asking you “What is Marriage”? Unless you can explain a topic to others, handle their counter-questions, and provide answers with reliable sources, you don’t know what the topic is and you only believe you know it. Buy why do we need to understand this? Individual perspectives do not form or shape the world, history, literature, laws, courts, and administration. Majority opinions influence creation of laws and opinions. If you bring your own mindset to court and remain inflexible, you won’t align with the Court. This may lead to losing your case. causing you to have further frustration with the law, the system, courts, and lawyers. However, everything was due to your not understanding the basic concept of the topic you were dealing with. And you were debating experts. In matrimonial cases, everything centers on one key topic i.e. “MARRIAGE”. It is only the concept of Marriage that will be considered while forming Laws, moral duties, ethics etc. When presenting your case to the court, it’s crucial to communicate that you understand marriage objectively. Ensure that you address the broader aspects of marriage, not just those that favor your version or side of the case. I do not dispute the concerns about bias in matrimonial cases within the legal system. But it’s equally important to recognize that the responsibility isn’t solely on courts, laws, lawyers, and systems; we must also take accountability. Can men honestly deny that motives, agendas and personal benefits drive our actions, rather than behaving genuinely for the greater good of society and justice? It’s not uncommon to witness men in legal battles striving to reduce settlement amounts. Majority instances expose a culture where men compromise in false cases against them when they receive a digestible settlement offer from the other side or Court. In the process of this case fighting, you may continually believe that you’re fighting for the right cause. However, if you pause and ask your soul, you might realize that you’re not truly championing a cause. Once the dispute concludes, you will not revisit or fix what you once thought was wrong. That’s a personal fight, not a cause. What is Marriage? As a lawyer, my initial instinct is to begin guiding you through a legal point of view before delving into speculations. As such I would like to refer you to a judgment from the Hon’ble High Court of Calcutta on 20th of March, 1901, in a case titled “Tekait Mon Mohini Jemadai vs. Basanta Kumar Singh“: 16. This brings us to the consideration of the question what is the Hindu Law upon this subject. It may be premised that though marriage under the Hindu Law is a contract, it is also a sacrament, it is more religious than secular in character; the union is indissoluble, for it is a “union of flesh with flesh, bone with bone.” During the husband’s lifetime, he is to be regarded by the wife as a god and the wife is declared to be half the body of her husband, equally sharing the fruit of pure and impure acts, and no sacrifice or religious rite is allowed to her apart from the husband’s. Hence it is that after the husband’s death, the widow is regarded as the surviving half of his body: the union is a sacred tie and subsists even after the death of the husband. See Manu, Ch. II, v. 67; Ch. Ill, v. 43; Ch. V, vv. 154, 155, 156, 157, 158, 160, 165; Ch. IX. v. 29; Dayabhaga Ch. IV, v. 14; Ch. XI, Section 1, v. 2; and Hindu Law on Marriage by Dr. Banerjee, p. 131. My thoughts on the judgment A beautifully laid out, well reasoned, well balanced view on marriage, well before the present law came into existence. It referred to the essence of marriage as it traditionally & spiritually stood. Despite the evolution of the concept over time, this interpretation remains relevant, if one seeks to understand the true definition of marriage. Distinct from its present understanding from legal point of view. It is important to acknowledge that the origin of marriage does not necessarily align with the concept of a sacrament. We have always overlooked the Origins of Marriage, as a concept, from the discussion surrounding the true nature of marriage. Focusing primarily on religious and faith-based perspectives that label it as a sacrament. However, a comprehensive understanding of marriage requires a deeper exploration of its historical and cultural roots, going beyond religious interpretations. By doing so, we can gain a more nuanced perspective on what marriage truly represents and how it has evolved throughout human history. Origin of Marriage Indeed, marriage existed before laws and authorities regulated society. It is a social institution that has existed across cultures and civilizations throughout history. Religisous texts are the earliest forms of compilations regarding moral and ethical duties, often providing guidelines for marriages. However, during those times, the enforcement of marriage rules and regulations did not involve legal penalties in the earthly realm. Instead, the emphasis was often on post-life consequences or supernatural beliefs as a means of safeguarding the sanctity of marriage. This spiritual or moral framework served as a form of social control and encouraged adherence to the norms and expectations associated with marriage. What religions said about marriage? Genesis 2:18: (New International Version) The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Quran 4:34: Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. If we were to treat marriage as purely a sacrament governed by religious preachings, women’s status will be reduced to a mere

Introduction Before we delve into this topic, I want to clarify that our discussion does not revolve around being a victim of any legal abuse. It’s crucial to approach the subject with an open mind and not perceive the legal system as a predator or a hunting ground. The purpose of the law is not to cater to individual comfort but to prioritize the well-being of society as a whole. To ensure a comprehensive discussion, it is essential that we both have a clear understanding of the concept of marriage. Varying perspectives can indeed lead to differing viewpoints. Therefore, I encourage you to share your understanding of marriage, allowing us to establish a common foundation for our conversation. By doing so, we can explore the topic more effectively and consider a range of perspectives. As the author of this article, I have chosen to divide this topic into multiple parts. This division allows for a more focused exploration of each aspect. I encourage you to approach this article with patience and avoid reading it all at once. Instead, take the time to thoroughly engage with each part, considering the references provided. Take at least a day to reflect upon and form your perspective before moving on to the next section. This approach will enable a more thoughtful and comprehensive understanding of the topic. Why you do not understand this law in its rightful meaning? In my experience of working with individuals affected by this law, particularly husbands, I have witnessed the profound impact and complexity it carries. These individuals often experience intense emotions such as anger, disappointment, and distress. These emotions can create significant obstacles to impartially understanding the law. Furthermore, these circumstances often lead to impaired reasoning. When the mind is stressed or depressed, it tends to seek immediate solutions, and individuals may focus solely on finding what benefits them personally. However, studying only “what helps me” without understanding the broader context of “what binds me” is an incomplete form of education. A person with incomplete knowledge is very dangerous. Now, let’s address the underlying concern. Overconfidence in one’s ability to understand the law can be problematic. Simply reading the bare provisions of the law is akin to reading the Shrimad Bhagavad Gita without knowledge of the Mahabharata. Merely examining the surface-level provisions of the law will not yield substantial results because law encompasses not only the words themselves but also their context, intent, and interpretations. There is a historical background leading to the enactment of a law. The definitions of every word used in the law hold specific meanings, and the intent behind its passage plays a significant role in its interpretation. So, I ask, have you thoroughly explored and dealt with all the related aspects before concluding that you understand the law? It is crucial to engage with the broader context, interpretive principles, and historical perspectives to gain a comprehensive understanding of the law in question. How does one understand law? During my law studies, our teacher emphasized that law is rooted in common sense. According to this perspective, our inner selves intuitively recognize when we engage in wrongful behavior. I found this notion logical and relatable as a student. After all, how could someone not be aware that murdering, stealing, or harassing others is morally and legally unacceptable? It seemed self-evident. When I initially studied the provision of law concerning the maintenance of parents, children, and wives (Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure or Cr.P.C.), it resonated with me on a deep level. The concept of providing support to parents made sense because they have cared for us and fulfilled their duties towards us. As a result, we have a reciprocal obligation to support them in their time of need. Similarly, the idea that parents have a responsibility towards their children aligns with the inherent connection involved in bringing a child into the world. It is natural to acknowledge and fulfill the financial obligations associated with raising and nurturing a child. Even animals do it without any legal implications. Furthermore, I didn’t even question maintaining a wife. Becaues marriage involves profound commitment to promises YOU made at marriage. Upholding these promises and having a law in place to enforce the same absolutely made sense to me. The law under Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure (Cr.P.C.) reflects the commitments undertaken at the time of marriage. It does not require legal expertise to understand this. Breaching these promises should have consequences, and there is no argument about that.” If I’m justifying the law, why I’m against it? Let us understand this with an example. I hired a cook to work in my kitchen and provided him with a good knife. One day, he used the same knife to cause harm to someone in our vicinity. Now, the question arises: Who is at fault? Is it me, the knife, or the cook? Is the fault mine for providing the cook with the necessary kitchen tool? Or is the knife at fault for being what it is? IT IS THE COOK. RIGHT? Justifying the existence of a law doesn’t imply turning a blind eye to its potential abuse. Similarly, the abuse of a law doesn’t automatically warrant its complete removal. Eliminating a law would only recreate the circumstances that necessitated its creation in the first place. The solution lies not in perpetuating a cycle of repetition but in addressing the underlying issues and fixing the problems that contribute to the misuse of the law. It is essential to strike a balance between safeguarding against abuse and upholding the principles and intentions behind the law. What is the problem? Problem is not the law, problem lies in its interpretation and execution. To discuss the issues comprehensively, it is necessary to examine the law in detail and discuss it line by line. Let us delve into the law and its associated challenges to gain a deeper understanding of the issues at hand. CHAPTER IX of the